Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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