Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
