why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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