i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
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