if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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