but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
