No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
