i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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