You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
