dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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