My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
