nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
