You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
