Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
