Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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