Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
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