I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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