she looked like the before picture.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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