Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
