my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize
