shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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