names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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