She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
