Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
