So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
