We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
