just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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