At least make sure they are 18
Why
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
