Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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