Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
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