marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
