That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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