Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
