hotel room ftw
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
