I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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