He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize