when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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