Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
