I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Randomize