So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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