I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
