I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
