i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
