I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
