Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
