never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
