have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
