check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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