Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
