"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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