I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
