you win again, gameday.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
we're making bets on your personal life
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I need water and some morals
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
