"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
