No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
