I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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